Whoa, There!  Slow It Down!

 

When you’re going through a painful breakup or divorce, it’s quite natural to reach out for things that might produce some temporary relief.

And I get it- you want to feel better……and fast.  However, what’s natural is not always helpful.

 

A Big Move Often Looks Like….

 

Packing up and moving to another city, state, or across the country.

 

This “geographical solution” is one of the most common attempts to start over after a breakup or divorce- and it can be one of the most dangerous. 

It’s as if we say to ourselves, “I just gotta get outta this town” or “yeah, I would be much happier if I lived closer to _____________ or farther away from __________________”,  and my favorite, “life would be much better in _______________________”

And maybe a relocation is in your future.

However, I would encourage you to take some time and really think this through.

Ask yourself, “is this a well-planned course of action, or an emotional reaction to my intense heartache?”

Ask yourself and be honest, “am I running from doing the emotional work of improving myself from the inside-out?” 

One of my all-time favorite books that hits this topic head-on is “Wherever You Go, There You Are” by Jon Kabat-Zinn. 

Because reality is, no matter where you live, it’s still YOU who will be living there.

And left unchecked, you’ll have an extremely high likelihood of repeating the same behaviors (ahem, mistakes).

Maybe you’ve heard the phrase, “same circus- different clowns” 

 

A Big Move Could Also Look Like….

Quitting your job, getting a different job, or going back to school to embark on a new career. 

 

Again, all of these things may be in your future.  However, I would strongly encourage you to “let the dust settle” from your breakup or divorce.

You want to approach these life choices with the clearest head and most focused vision possible.

Takeaway:  Sit still for a while.  Relax.  Breathe.  Don’t try to fix your broken heart with a new city or new job. 

You can check out some of my favorite life-changing books right here on my Resources page.